Updated: Jan 10, 2020
We all have seen around us relationships that have gone bad.
And most of us are searching for THE SECRET to creating an amazing relationship that is going to make us smile and have fun for many years to come.
But, you know, it's ok for relationships to end. The problem is when these relationships have caused so much trouble in our lives and, now, we are left alone wounded.
This problem starts when a person looses his/her FREEDOM to be who they want to be.
And this way, they don't feel loved, even though they are searching for love in their relationship.
Our bad habit, in this case, is that we don't allow people to be who they want to be, make choices that they want to make and, actually, make mistakes.
We become CONTROLLING when it comes to our relationships.
But, what if we become ALLOWING?
And, by allowing, I don't mean tolerating...
Allowing means feeling ok with the fact that someone else is different or thinks differently.
Tolerating means feeling uncomfortable and pressured with the behaviors of others.
So, the fact that so many relationships end up fighting and maybe worse, is because these people were trying to TOLERATE one another and not ALLOW one another to be who they want.
Now, you are going to ask me : "What if I see that my partner is doing something really wrong that I don't agree with?"
In this case you just have to allow him/her do the wrong thing, but, at the same time, UPLIFT them and ENCOURAGE them to make better decisions next time, by being a good example for them.
YOU CAN SHOW THEM A BETTER WAY OF DEALING WITH SITUATIONS!
You will see them do better next time.
And if not, if you feel that your ways have parted so much and you have nothing is common, then just let them go. Without ego-based behaviors. Just allow them be who they are.
As a conclusion, I would also like to point out that the same thing happens with our relationship with ourselves.
We tend to be very strict and controlling of our own behaviors as well.
We tend to PUNISH ourselves when we make a bad decision. Like, for example, eat an extra ice-cream this week. Isn't this true?
We might end up saying : "No more ice-cream for the next two weeks!"
And what would this cause? Discomfort.
And what would we like to do? Eat the f*cking ice cream.
You see what I mean?
So, why not allow ourselves be messy and make bad choices, as well?
Thinking to ourselves : "It's ok. I really really wanted this ice-cream and it made me feel good."
Now, imagine talking like that to the person beside you every time he/she makes a bad decision for whatever reason...
It will be really transformative, I am sure about that!